That Girl

Who is this girl I see everyday?

Clueless, trepid, flippant..

She asks me for help.

I look at her with contempt;

Amazed at her stupidity,

Disgusted at her immaturity.

Every night she comes to me,

Sheds her tears,…bleeds.

Sometimes she dies.

“Why me?” I ask.

“Why do you come to me

All the time?”

“You are all I have!” She says.

I feel damned.

I curse her and scream…

“Leave me alone…

Let me be in peace!”

And yes, she walks away…

That dumb, annoying girl,

She walks away.

I am happy now, my friends!

But at night, I do feel lonely at times.

I don’t know where she came from

And where she went.

But it’s true that there were

So many hours together spent.

I wait for her

I think of her so often..

Where she is.. how she is..

Is she alive still?

I felt like writing about her

In my journal.

So I went to my room,

And turned on the light.

And I started searching…

My old journal.

I used to keep it here.

But where is it?

It should have been on these shelves.

I feel lost, bewildered.

It was my most treasured asset…

All my sweet memories,

My past years…

Helpless, I turn back.

Suddenly I see her looking at me.

Hanging there.. on the wall

Was her face, mocking at me!

Shocked I was.

But then I knew…

“You took my diary… didn’t you?”

~written on 5th Dec 2006

Rendezvous

Meet you sometime Sir

In not so distant future,

May be a decade or two;

But I won't be waiting for you.

No pain inflicted;
No thoughts articulated.

Sitting alone on the shore at the dawn,

I hear him speaking softly to me.

He whispered to my ears the story of a girl..

She sat the way you're sitting, he remembers.

The girl, he says, was his friend.

She was one of a kind, he says.

Her eyes would water as she smiled;

Her mind would leave her as she sang;

He loved her, he says..

And I knew it too.

They'd play wash-the-footprints 

All day long.

They'd watch the sun dawn

Every morn.

He reminisces how she smiled,

Her eyes sparkling with joy..

When he had brought her sea shells

The very first time.

That was the time they'd first met.

She looked so lonely and sad..

And he had come up

With his gifts

And then she smiled

Her sweet sweet smile.

They spoke for long

Till it was dark.

Then she'd left

To come back again.

He loved her , he says...

And I knew it too.

At times when she was blue,

She'd come and sit by him.

She won't talk.. She won't smile

When he kissed her feet.

And he'd recede,

Down with her sorrow.

She won't talk the whole day,

But sit by him silent.

Staring at the vastness

Of what lay beyond..

As she left, he would watch her.

He couldn't help the one

He loved so dearly..

He'd curse his worthless self

And hit himself against the rocky shore.

The girl would look back

And walk towards him.

And she'd smile

Her sweet sweet smile

With the silver teardrops

In her big black eyes.

She loved him too, I knew.

"Wait.. what happened to the girl?"

I asked, as he retraced his path..

He would say nothing.

But I could hear..

We are together now...

He left.

As I was about to leave,

I found the waves have brought

A glowing sea-shell

By my feet.

And unknowingly I smiled

And took it up.

My words

My most treasured words...
I gave them to you, my dearest.
Hopeful that they will find
Their abode in you.

Ineptly vivacious,
Incredibly candid they were.
But they had to die.
For they were too fragile.
Too young to survive..

You were sorry yet relieved.
I befriended nothingness.

My words have now ceased to talk;
But my silence still does.
Incessantly.

Reconciliation

Engulfed in the past
And dreaming of the future;
Spinning 'round the retrospect
That is dead and burried..

Dizzyness and melancholy
Giving me company.

"Am I sane?" I ask myself.
No one to answer, I do get.
The mind is busy with the brain
Walking me down memory lane.

In the absence of present I seem to get lost.
But I need to get going at any cost.

From someone, somewhere I need the light
That'll give me the courage to carry on my plight.
But again that light will once dim down....
And in the infinite darkness I'll have to drown.

I know not if I'll ever learn to swim...
One day to save myself I still do dream.

Reminiscing lost times

The day have passed, a night is born,
Of the awaiting doom me to forewarn.
I need to realise it before it's too late
And I am but a puppet in the hands of fate.

In the labyrinth of the sweet memories,
I am lost and lost are the stories...
Lost are the dreams so lovingly painted,
The tint on the canvas silently turns fade.

But still I hope.."Are the colours smudged
Or is my vision blurred by the tears instead?"
Hope is all I have... the colours all gone,
Between the past and present leaving me torn.

Now I decide to take a leave, tired and fatigued,
My conscience to say "yes" is all I need.
And the day is gone and the night prevails;
The ship off the coast finally sails....